She called me last night and we talked for about 20mins or so, then she had another call and told me to hang on, I did and she hung up and didnt call me back, which is fine but rude. We talked about a lot of things. Why she cheated and why she other things. She said that she can not be alone. I thought about saying then why are you leaving our marriage but didnt. I wish I would have now. She said that she is going to start her life over, a fresh start and she didnt want to have anything that reminded her of her past. I asked so we arent going to be friends then? She said that I was part of her past, then I said yes I am but Im also part of your present. She said yes I was. I asked what about all of her friends, they are in your past, what about them? She said that she didnt know. Then she said that she doesnt plan on staying in the midwest for much longer, she is going to head west but just doesnt know where. I told her that I wish we could have talked more about everything. If she was feeling alone or needed attention or needed anything. I told that I wish life had do-overs and I would have used one with us. She was quite.. She said that she wishes that we could have talked more openly also, but she said its in the past and we cant change it. THen I said yeah but we could for the future. She said that her parents and family are telling her not to date anyone just yet but she said that she really cant be alone. Again I wish I would have said then why are you leaving? We talked about certain factors that played into her decision of the D and if I would have said or done a few things earlier in our R then she thinks things would be very different. I said that I agree. I felt like it was a good talk, I was calm and listened and was nice. I hope that she has seen this. I know that we are over but I am praying for a make up but I know I am headed down the dark tunnel..
