A wise friend of mine, though, who is herself a minister, said to me that my H and I fulfilled those vows long ago - that there is no shame or wrong in this ending, especially if the most loving thing to do is to respect my H's wishes and let my H go.
Your Minister is not very wise. She obviously doesn't know Scripture. In Malachi 2:16 God says, "I HATE divorce!" I don't know about you, but I'm not about to do something God hates! Marriage is a covenant, a binding agreement witnessed by God. It is not a contract to be whimsically broken. God takes a dim view of those who take vows cavalierly. He also takes a dim view of the one who causes or enables the divorce. You might want to look up the word 'vow' and references to it in the Bible. I suggest you investigate http://www.rejoiceministries.org or http://www.covenantkeepersinc.com. There are too many in the clergy who condone or advocate divorce when, in fact, they should be helping couples retore the covenant they made with God. You might also try reading Ed Wheat's "How to Save Your Marriage Alone" and Jim Conway's "When a Mate Wants Out." These books are the tip of the iceberg. Find out what the Bible REALLY says about the marriage covenant.
Don't be so ready to throw in the towel. This is not easy. In fact, standing for a marriage is the hardest thing you'll ever do. But divorce is NOT the answer.
God bless you,
David
The fires of true love can never be quenched, because the source of its flame is God Himself! - Shulamith
