Couple steps backward. She has "officially" informed me that she won't be wearing a wedding ring any more. That one kinda hurt. I remained "detached" and told her if that is what she wants that is fine. I doubt I was convincingly positive
Just trying to figure out why someone would need to "officially" inform you about the wedding ring. This is just my take but she is definatelly looking for a reaction. Are you wearing yours? If so, I would take it off and not announce it. For the record my WAW wears hers but I do not.
Did you just do it out of the blue or was it in reaction to an event or conversation?
Don't let the announcement phase you and don't react to it. A "tit for tat" contest with her isn't going to get you any closer to where you want to be.
We were going to a thing at my kids school and she wasn't wearing her ring. So, I just asked if she forgot it (didn't even mean it to be a loaded question. She sometimes forgets her watch and ring if she's been cleaning).
Today, when I got home from the store and was unloading groceries the W stopped me and said "You've done a good job giving me space, but I wanted to know if you need to talk I'm here". I said "Okay".
She kept going. She said that she was sorry she waited so long to tell me how she felt. That this was about her and not me. How no matter what she wants me to be happy and we need to think of the kids. That we will have to work through any anger.
I said that I'm fine. That I know I can be happy even if we don't stay together, but that I did want to stay married. I said I'm not angry (I'm really not strangely). She said she hopes I'm working on figuring out what makes me happy. I said I am. She said she doesn't know where this is going and wants time. I said fine. Take all the time you need.
Does anyone have any insights on this behavior? Is this in response to me being detached and not talking about the future? Normally she would never have started this discussion. I'm the one who always talks about the R.
What an emotional rollercoaster. Yesterday morning after the discussion I went from feeling that DB was helping to this morning thinking that her initiating an R conversation and reiterating the she isn't sure she wants to stay married was a sign of the end of the M.
It's not the end Wooglint, just stick with the game plan. Work on detaching more so that the highs and lows on the rollercoaster don't get to you so much.
Thanks for the reality check. I think I was fine detaching when I was the one avoiding the convesation. Now I just need to keep my cool if she brings it up again. I think I was fine with her, but it was a long night in my own head.
woog, it looks like your w is progressing along the same timeline as my wife. it is fascinating to watch everyone goe through this process. i have been detaching and db"ing so well she now wants to move her friends house. guilt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dont over analyze , my biggest fault. keep coming to the bb's. it is hard not to react to their conflicted statements, just do it internally. day by day.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
