Why can't I do this....

[Dom R]

hey houndfan... havent dropped in on you before.. just a few comments...

....
Well, got home last night with a great dinner for the family. W asked if I would stay and hang out, which I did. This is where I think that I stopped DB'ing... After dinner and some TV I worked with S7 on homework and finally got both S's to bed. She was coming up and asked if I wanted to stay, I said where? She said I could sleep in the bed. I thought that I should leave at that time, but I didn't. I justified by saying to myself what if she gets sick again and needs me (big dummy hound). Well, I laid down in my work clothes, and she told me to get comfortable. Anyway, she asked me to hold her, and I did through the night. It felt so great! Nothing too intimate, just her and I in our bed holding.

stopped DB-ing??? I dont see where you did that.
I see that you "did a 180", and changed from you being absent waay too much, to being there for her. That's GREAT!

"DBing" is not the same thing as "LRT".

*SOMETIMES* people should use the last resort technique.
Some overly zealous people seem to be promoting the idea that it always should be used.
That's more from a different set of books. It's not DB.

I am still going tonight to the show with her. I am sure this is counter-intuitive to the DB lessons

Nope! it isnt!

"Go with what works".

sounds like this is what works for the both of you, at this time.

you'll have setbacks... you'll make mistakes. but that's what life... and being married, is all about. isnt it?

Just hang in there, and stick with your resolve to not be the bad guy you used to be.

it'll take time, of consistent behaviour, for your wife to believe you have changed.
nothing else will do it.

So... dont lose hope. keep at it

it sounds like your wife is disbelieving about your change of heart... but she is allowing you and giving you the opportunities to convince her.

you are a lucky man. just do your best.