I always feel that just as we needed a 2x4 to realize we screwed up in our M, a lot of these WAS really need 2x4 as well to realize that they aren't thinking right at times.
tfh, I feel sad for your kids as well as mine. But on the positive side, you can use that as leverage to get your W to go to Retro. Tell her that no matter what you guys are bound forever by your kids. Communication must improve between the two of you whether you are together or separate for the sake of the kids. You will always have to deal with issues concerning the kids. Being able to resolve issues effectively and resort to hostility is utmost important for the kids. Retro is not there to fix problems in your marriage, or trying to get you guys recounciled, or marriage therapy. It really is a weekend to teach you tools on how to listen and understand the other person. This lessens resentment and frustration. Of course the side effect of being able to understand and accept the other person's feelings is that it brings you closer and connect. But you don't have to tell her that. :P Just tell her that for the kids she really should think about doing this with you and that you have no expectations of her feeling any which way. You do not expect her to change her mind and want to get back together with you. You just want to get alone better and communicate better. I still remember on the way there Friday the W was totally angry and saying things like I "made" her go, she's only going for the kids, she is not there to work on the marriage and etc etc. To go from that to her saying she's really glad we went is a minor miracle I'd say.
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
