I have been all alone, since my W went on a mini vacation with some friends. I did see the OM and I must say that he looked as if he is suffering and losing weight. It was almost pleasant in a sick way, yet ofcourse it does not help our situation in any way. We do bump into each other and will so it is not something we can avoid.
Other than that I have been feeling very good and taking care of myself and staying busy. It is odd that I am feeling so good personally yet tomorrow when she comes home I do not know if I will be greeted with a happy hug or a hello. I have no idea what she is thinking and feeling so it is very weird. She did call and said Love You, I think she wonders a little why I have not called and all that, but as I said I am feeling good and really have noticed that the more I am independent and distant in a way, the more she comes or opens up.
It just took a long time to get those facts into this thick big head of mine.
I do suffer a but with all the lying. We decided not to tell anyone when the Bomb hit, so as am example last night I was over at some friends house for dinner. They know that we have tried to make babies for a while so they asked what is going on. I said that for the moment we are taking a break, that the stress and all that was too overwhelming. I guess it is true that we are taking a break but not for those reasons. Stuff like that is hard, and I also wonder if it will ever end in a way. If or when we do get our marriage back on track do we just let the lies and this saga fade away or what is the course.
This is my babble for the morning.
Just wanted to let you know that I am feeling fine, and have a little smile on my face today.
