I also feel it's true that we choose partners who reflect our own issues back to us. You are getting healthier, both physically and emotionally, and some of the anger you're feeling is anger at yourself for not caring about yourself the way you should have been all these years. As you move to a place of self understanding, you will begin to like yourself more, while accepting your flaws, and here is the cool thing: You will see that your W's rejection really isn't about you. She may have legintimate complaints about you, but her actions and responses reflect her own poor state of mind. Healthy people don't shut themselves off. It's self defeating.
BTW, I am one of those people who are LD for security, love, commitment, etc., and HD for novelty and excitement. I think a lot of people are like this, but the great part of being human is that we have the conciousness to expand our mind-body connection to a higher level. And that's what marriage is all about....it teaches us how to mature and evolve, if we so choose.
You cant control your W's choice to work on her issues and the marriage...you can only do your part. What ends up happening on this board is that over time, one partner takes the growth route, while the other partner attempts to stay in the dysfunction. There is no way to predict the end result: some of us move on, some work things out, and some decide to accept the misery.
Keep plugging along; allow your anger to help promote change, but don't stay in it. You are moving forward to a better place.
