azhira , I agree with you about self examination. This what I have done for the last 1 and a half years. This is what my wife wanted, to the tee. In brief conversations she has said she hopes to one day be happy. I suffer with guilt everyday for he fact that I have fractured my sons life, thats the toughest part for me. My wife is so busy studying for her classes that I don't think she spends much education time with my boy. It seems that me and my gf do all of his school projects and homework. My gf has taken a very active role in his development. She has been an angel for me, I have learned so much and she definetly helps me be a better father. My brain tells me that I am doing the right thing, but I have a piece left in my heart for my wife that I unfortunately cannot retrieve and therefore never fully have what I had before. The funny thing is that my wife did some terrible things during our seperation, I mean bad. I forgave her for everything, I have not once thought about them and gotten angry. I try to remember her for what she was and not who she turned into. She was the best thing that ever happened to me and its just really hard to pick up all the pieces. She understands why I called my gf, matter of fact it was her idea. And on many occasions she has said that she likes the man that I am now, I don't know what to make of that. One last thing, I did put my best effort 2and a half years to try and make this marriage work, but how much can you keep getting kicked in the teeth. She is now with another man, I didn't think it was serious until she started to bring my son around him. So now the only thing I can do is give it time. I wrote her a heartfelt 10 page letter earlier this year telling her that I still have feelings for her and always will. I stated that whatever the outcome I want her to be happy. I also said that if she has even the slightest incling that she may want to give this another shot or just talk to me about it, that I would be receptive no matter whatever situation I was in.
