Hi again ~ long time no see.

[RedHeadWife]

Well, hopefully the SSM book will help. I honestly have never read it, but did order it, then mom accidentally gave it to the library when she took a bunch of books back the other day so I had to order it again. Maybe it will help both of you in "getting into the other one's heads" as far as S goes and the difference in men & women. I don't know exactly b/c, like I said, I haven't read it yet.

I just don't know what to tell you. Like I said after you posted last time, it seems as if you are taking a lot of verbal abuse and I just cannot imagine how long you will be able to take that.

I agree it sounds like you have "bent over backwards" for him and I'm not sure how much more you can take, however, if you want to save your M, I guess you are just going to have to keep at it.

My other thought was that maybe it's going to have to be YOU that finally gets tough about D or leaving before he is going to say "oh, wait a minute" and maybe start working on himself and actually putting some effort into your M instead of just you trying to "fix" everything.

I don't know, girl, it just sounds like it truly sucks right now. I know you don't want a D and that's the last thing I want for you either, but I just am not understanding the way he is acting.

Also, as hard as it would be, I would try the 180 thing on the fighting/arguing. Try to just validate everything he says and go on w/ whatever you are doing. Don't ignore him or anything b/c then that would make him mad, however, don't buy into the argument. Try that for a week or so and see if you don't "participate" in the arguments what happens.