Me 34 H 36 He had an EA with one sexual encounter Sep 07 He confessed in October but said it was someone I didn't know We jointly (as far as I believe) agreed he would move out Separated 29/1/07 He revealed on 12/2/07 that the 'one night stand' was actually an affair with a friend of ours that babysat our 6yo daughter EA with someone different who had mental problems and latched onto him Turns into a workaholic I tried a couple of times to end the relationship between Feb and April but he begged his way back in each time I thought I was DBing between April and October. He was still a workaholic and not spending much time with us. October, he drops the bomb that it's not working adn that he was getting to be more than just friends with another girl. On 9/11/07 he tells me in a nasty phone call that things have progressed with this 'friend' adn she is now his girlfriend. On 11/11/07 he believes I am undermining his r'ship with our daughter by taking her to the beach after I refused to let him take her to the beach. He comes to the house, shoves me around, rips both phones out of the wall and threatens me with a golf club (putter....not that it matters!). I call the police. They serve him with a 24hr police order. He apologises two days later, but says "but can you understand why I got so mad?". (to me, this, among other comments shows he is not taking responsibility for his actions).
Anyways. For the last week there has been a grand total of two phone conversations that haven't ended with me as a wreck.
Please note. I am not wanting to get back with him at this stage. I want to have a working relationship with him to effectively co-parent our daughter. He has crossed several lines, and I do not trust my heart with him and I do not trust him any more (and haven't for some time).
Tonight. He says (amongst other things) that he doesn't see why I didn't ask him to help me wax my nether regions (as he used to). Instead I went to a beautician. He says you know I like doing that, why won't you let me?
??????
I am speechless.....I have never been able to set limits with this guy, and now it is biting me. Luckily d was desparate to be fed so I was able to get off the phone but I feel that I should point out the following:
we are separated you have a girlfriend now I would feel uncomfortable with that level of intimacy
His response I fear would be along the lines of "So?...."
My response other than "Duh!" could be ....what?
I obviously need to spell this out but I don't want to get on my high horse. I just want to calmly point out that this isn't appropriate any more. Is that enough?
Please help...it seems so sodding obvious to me that this should be obvious to him.
