Still trying to win WAW back (#2)

[DaveJ]

Ok, back from Retro. Talk about an exhausting experience. They certainly keep you occupied from early till late. Overall very positive experience but no life changing miracles from the W. I do feel there is now more hope and things are turning towards a positive direction. Retro can be a life changing experience for many people. I do see people that are bickering and fighting until Sunday and all of a sudden do an 180 just based on a song they are playing or something the presenters are saying. It is pretty amazing. I highly recommend anyone to drag their S there even if they feel hopeless. It is well worth it. After all, you got nothing to lose. They do it in such a way that is very emotional, touching, and inspiring.

So my experience.... Friday afternoon driving up to north phoenix to drop off the kids with some friends that are kind enough to watch our kids while we attend Retro. Funny thing is that part of the way we got into an argument and she started going into the anger mode once again. Says she really has no interest in going and doesn't know why we need to spend that much money for this and it's a waste of time etc etc etc. At least we managed to stop the fighting. Dropped the kids off and went to dinner near by before heading to Retro in Phoenix downtown. Surprisingly we had a great time at dinner. Laughing and joking. Very pleasant interaction that has not happened in a LONG LONG time. Maybe God's already at work here. We get there about 7pm and checked in. Initial reaction for W that night was that she realizes we aren't the only people having issues. There are all sorts of people of all ages, cultural backgrounds and etc there.

On Saturday and Sunday W began to open up more and sharing feelings. More pleasant interactions. W starts to see some hope in us getting along. W acknowledges that she needs to let go of her anger. She even identified the reason why she won't forgive and let go (I'm so tired I can't remember exactly what it was she said...uck!). She also feels that if she forgives me I will expect her to get back together with me and work on the R. I told her that I don't really have any expectations and I will go at the pace she's comfortable with.

So she feels we should continue to dialogue in order to improve communication. She's even contemplating going to the post sessions. Right now logistics is the major hurdle. We need to find a trustworthy sitter. First post session is Tuesday so that may be out of the question. I'm really hoping that she will want to go to the post sessions. She is working on letting go of anger but it may be a process. I feel that it will be a long process and that I will need lots of patience. But I do feel a lot of hope for us and hopefully things continue in the positive direction through dialoguing. The weekend also showed both of us that we can interact well, be able to laugh, joke around, be silly, and have a pleasant time. I think that will help getting W to stop holding me at arm length and slowly wanting to spend more time with me.

Ah well, I'm so brain dead I need to get some sleep. I will post more if I remember more. All I know is that W's perspective has changed drastically over the weekend. Really, drag your S there if you can. It can make a difference no matter how they think before.