I Was Almost A Walk-Away Wife (next thread)

[Dom R]

No, I don't guess I do DomR. I just feel kind of used up. In just a little over two weeks we will have been married for 42 years and he doesn't change....not in positive ways anyway. I sound like a broken record trying to explain, but he has always waited on me to "make" the marriage. I can't seem to get inspired or encouraged. Maybe I'm down b/c of the Fibromyalgia today......but I am about to give up.

I'm sorry to hear that, Sandi.

I'm also... puzzled.

Last I recall... things started to go really well for you.
You were trying lots of "new" things... cooking.. other stuff... and your H was responding on some level.
you two were being more low-level affectionate.....

and then you stopped writing, about two weeks ago.

what happened? what changed?

I wish you had written more about it, when it actually changed. It is probably very difficult to accurately remember what changed first, from 2 weeks ago. These sort of mood changes, are usually triggered by something very small, on EITHER side.

Just like POSITIVE things, can be snowballed by a small change on one side.. NEGATIVE things, can also snowball in the same way.

It is really useful to be able to think back, and identify the potential "small" negative thing, that eventually added up to a seemingly larger thing.

I know you have just run out of things to say to me and I certainly don't blame anyone for that.

nope.
I just need to keep hearing back from you, to say more


SO... what has actually been happening, since back when you were writing happy things about your marriage?
Last I recall, the biggest guesture from him, was a misguided attempt at cheering you up by sending you flowers. It unfortunately had a bad side effect [allergies]... but after years of nothing.. i think that counts as a really positive effort. "'A' for effort", if not for actual results ?