I don't know if I should continue to DB.

[Jen1967]

What they say isn't always what they mean. They're trying to see if you are changing and if the changes will stick. The divorce, or threat of divorce, might be his only leverage to take him seriously about things that have been bothering him in the marriage. Do the 180 thing. Act differently in areas he wouldn't expect, but would be glad to see. Try not to resist his detachment, he'll resent you for it and blame you. If you step out of the target area (don't resist) he can't be angry with you and will have to start looking at himself. I'm not saying this will work, but this is the gist of the process. At least that's how Jodi described it to me during the phone coaching. I have been being less critical to H (his main complaint of me) since he left 8 weeks ago. Our interaction is much softer now. Almost friendly. Today said he feels more rational and less emotional about his decision-making (I presume about her?). He said he wasn't ready to say anything more and I didn't fight it. Just said OK. I have to force myself not to pry too much about OW.