Does anyone else have this problem?

[missmyfriend]

Real love is much more than "in love". Being "in love" feels wonderful because they are biochemical reactions. These are replaced by real emotions that are developed over years of being together. This can be overwhelming for some people especially those that are not emotionally healthy like our spouses. Typically something happened to them, usually during the formative years that stunted this emotional growth. Physical or emotional abuse or lack of love (same thing), cause long term implications when the abused never deals with these issues. Unresolved problems such as these come to the surface when they feel life has passed them by. This happens in certain periods of life. In the case of our spouses, it is usually a MLC. My W, I believe, experienced a QLC during college. Unfortunately she never completed the journey and shoved it back down only to have it come up again in her late 30s.

None of this makes sense to us. All we can do is love them without any pressure at all. Treat them like the sick people they are. Let them admit when they have a problem, just like addicts and alcoholics. They have to hit bottom first.