Thanks for the kind words, but I have to admit, these days I don't feel awesome about much.
I understand what you are saying about the counselling. I don't want to go to marital counselling. I've been hurting for so long in this stupid marriage, I'm just tired of it. I don't want to try anything anymore. I just want out. The thought of doing anything that could translate to pursuing her, makes my stomach hurt. I'm done.
As for individual counselling, yeah, it would probably do me a world of good until I walked in my front door and was faced with this marriage. I think I'm really in a bad place where I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel, so I don't want to bother with anything that might make the light appear, because I believe there is no light. Does that makes sense?
Yes.
But improving something in your life through your own efforts can't help but make you more attractive. Not to say that the particular person you're married to is guaranteed not to remain immune to your charms, but it'll put the odds more in your favor. And if you've got enough confidence and basic happiness, facing a cold or unaffectionate or angry wife gets a whole lot easier, because it's a lot easier to see that whatever's eating at her is more about her than about you, since you have already demonstrated to yourself that you're not a worthless failure.
Therapy and medication can help with the confidence.
As for what women are attracted to, a lot of it is strength and confidence. Sometimes they'll put up with a jerk for a while because his confidence is so damn sexy, just like a man will sometimes put up with a bitchy or stupid woman for a while if she's got a smoking hot body, but it doesn't last. And on the other hand, a man can love a seriously overweight woman and want to spend the rest of his life with her while not being all that enthusiastic about having sex with her, while a woman can be in a similar situation with respect to a "nice guy" that she genuinely likes but isn't as attracted to as she herself wishes she could be.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
