Snodderly...so great to hear from you. I was starting to worry. I am so glad that your father is recovering. I pray for you and your family each day.

Journaling:

Well my 2 yr old H got himself into a snit tonight. We did not see him all day. He had told d12 he had to help a friend but I have a feeling we all know who he was with.

Anyway, this evening when d12 and I got home from the store there was a message on the answering machine from SIL in california (H's brother who he is mad at because bil won't take H's crap). Anyway, I called her back and we had a lovely talk. Most of it I was down in the basement as I didn't want the kids to overhear anything.

Most of our talk was about the family and also about the kids and how this is effecting them. About 3/4 of the way during our conversation my cell started to die so I went up to my bedroom and put it on the charger while we talked. I closed the door so d12 couldn't hear us....The talk did not insult h, didn't even really talk too much about him other than I did tell her I was standing, it was, as I said, mostly about the family and kids.

Well I guess H walked in while I was on the phone. D12 must have been confused and told him I was talking to bil. When I came out, h was at the back door and said "how's my brother." I responded that I didn't know i was talking to his wife not him. H said "I am out of here." I asked why. H replies "I am not going to stay where I am not wanted."

Ugh..d12 said he stood outside my door listening for a few minutes. I replayed the conversation in my head and there really wasn't any jabs at H, just the cold hard truth as to how this situation is hurting everyone.

So, he and d12 tm back and forth. I showered and had a missed call from H. I shut my phone off. Not dealing with it tonight. A 180 for me. Before I would have jumped to return the call.

So, once again another step back. Not sure how my in-laws are handling things right now. All our actions just seem to push him to his MOW drug. I feel like there is a boulder at the exit to this tunnel and H is trapped inside forever. I just don't think he will ever come through this. He is too busy enjoying being the martyr.

So the kids and I will have Thanksgiving with our without family. I will just be greatful I have them.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Mopsey

Still standing....but I feel like I am barefoot standing on glass