I Don't Care Anymore

[Ohio_Mark]

Wow... lots of stuff here. I will try to respond to it all:

I just told I am enjoying hearing her ranting. Of course, this made her angrier.

hee hee, you are a stinker. But this is good. Not just good from DB'ing aspects. But good for you, for your heart and protecting your emotions.

lwb, I think I just pissed her off. In hindsight, it was disrespectful and inconsiderate. I should not have handled it that way. While I will not apologize, I will not laugh at her when her emotions get the best of her in the future.

Her confusion and guilt are driving her somewhere. Not sure where.

I'll let you in on a secret - she has even less of an idea "where" than you do!

I will agree with that, completely. Just four months ago, she was planning to move 450 miles away to live with her boyfriend (with my kids.... yeah, right, like I would let that happen!!!). And now that the guilt of what she has done has caught up with her, she is wondering what to do next. The feelings that she has for me are pulling her toward me, there is no doubt about that. Unfortunately, the clock is ticking... my feelings for her are fading very, very fast (see below).

Personal note: Sent you an email - are we still on for dinner tomorrow (Monday) night? Let me know!

Rob, I have been trying to send an email to you. I cannot make the meeting. My work travel schedule has changed. I sent another email tonight. Sorry for the late notice.

wow, mark, good for you. yep, you are throwing her off, that's for sure. and lol about your comment...she must have been fuming. hee!

See above. It was wrong of me to laugh at her. No two ways about that.

again, need to take lessons in cool detachment from you.

Morgan, the detachment is a function of frustration. I am very, very lonely. I know that I deserve better. I crave the companionship that comes from even a causal date.

Today, I went to a football game with #2. Two things happened there. First, the couple sitting next to us were not married. It was obviously a date. And I found the woman rather attractive. And I began thinking, "Shouldn't I have a shot at this? Right now, I have nothing. "

Another thing... there was another rather fetching woman sitting behind us, and she and I made eye contact quite a few times. Now, I am married, and I have no intention of hypocritically violating my marriage vows. But damn it, I could not help but think how nice it would have been to have at least introduced myself. But, as a result of the situation that my wife has placed me in, I had no choice. I remain very lonely. I am in purgatory. Neither heaven nor hell. Morgan, I guess what I mean is that my loneliness is driving my detachment. It's that simple. I'm not looking for a "date" or a "pick-up." I am craving companionship, and I am very, very lonely. And this is emotionally pushing her away from me.

Mark, in the past, has your W been in the habit of getting presents for your parents? Is this the repetition of past behaviors? Or something new?

Either way it represents a bit of guilt on her part, mixed with a desire (conscious or subconscious) to maintain a link with you and your family.

The family on my side exchanges gifts with adults on a rotating basis. Wife "drew" my mother. In fact, a few months ago, my family went so far as to ask me (in the absence of my wife) whether to include my wife in the exchange this year. I insisted that we include her. Good choice. She is a member of this family until she is not any more.

And I agree that, subconsciously, she is enjoying the safety net of my family. She is cake-eating...

That's about it. Once again, thanks for the input.