Angelica, Thank you for asking about my father. I just came from the rehab and he's doing a little bit better. He's inching his way along. For an 89 yr old man, he's come a long way in three weeks, i.e., coding and is talking about being bored to death at this time. He's eating and it appears that the pesky hole in his small intestine is definitely healed. What a blessing!
I don't believe in many of the instances, that we contributed to the demise of our marriages. If we had, we wouldn't be here questioning ourselves so much. No one is perfect, in many instances, the marriages were good ones, i.e., no abuse of any kind, substance abuse wasn't too evident and overall, life was running along fairly well. I could understand some marriages ending, i.e., w/abuse evident, infidelity, etc., but the marriages that we were/are in weren't that far off the scale. That's why it's important not to focus too much on what you think your part was in the demise of your marriage. You could have been the most perfect person in the world and he would still have gone through his crisis.
Stop and think about this, single people go through a crisis, just as well as a married individual, so who/what was the culprit in this type of situation? A trigger is all it takes to spin them out of control and unfortunately, we weren't educated on what to do if the trigger is pulled. Angelica, rest easy, your marriage was not the issue here. He's really got some issues that he's got to face and it's now or never.
As for your MIL, let her deal w/him. It's time those two had a nice long chat about his childhood.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
