Sandi, my kids do know about the D, however at this point I think my D20 only knows what her mom told her a few months ago when she originally filed. My W told her that dad and I are getting a divorce. As far as I know she hasnt told her any other details, and even when she dropped the bomb on the kids, she didnt let them ask questions. I have been to lunch several times with my D since then, and she does not seem to know any more than that. I have told both my kids that we both love them, and no matter what happens, that wont change. My S18 and I had a conversation about this back in August, right before he left for college. We were at my IL's for sunday dinner, and when we were leaving, I asked my W when we were going to tell the kids and the family. She told me that she already told them. I hit the roof. I said, how dare you tell OUR kids about this, especially something that will affect their lives also, and not involve me? I screamed at her the whole way home. I left her out at the house and had to drive around for awhile to cool off. My S then called me and wanted to know when i was coming home. I came home a few minutes later to find my W sitting at that damn computer and my S in his room. I asked my W if she wanted to come upstairs with me to talk, and she said no. So I filled in my S on the sitch. He knows all that is in the D petition, and has asked how mom can claim that she has no financial means of support if she makes more than me. Smart kid, he is studying psychology at school, and he also said that mom is acting on emotion and not being rational. Wow, out of the mouths of babes! I went to church this morning and a dear friend came up to me and gave me a hug and said how sorry she was for me. She cant believe what is happening to us. She said that over the last 20 years, she was always so proud to see us with our kids being so involved in church. I told her the truth, that I want to save this M, that the wife wants someone else, and that she is in some kind of MLC. I have read some other posts about the retrouvaille program, and in the church bulletin this morning, a local program is going to happen in mid January. I am going to approach my W this week about going, if just to learn to communicate. If she refuses, then I am going to call a family meeting, and I am going to spill the beans. I have put up enough with her BS, and I am tired and burned out. I am the typical male, who backs up to keep the peace, but I am going to have to stand up for the family soon. Thanks for your concern.
