Nikki, I would think belly dancing would be kinda hard on their back, having to bend or move at the hips. How are you doing in the class now? is it just once a week?
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
well. this week as been pretty bad. just haven't gotten out of that low. Yesterday I thought would be good, H had asked for a "favor" on a txt and I txt back saying I would need 100 compliments first... so we joked a bit back n forth, and I tried to fix up some before he got home, and as I came out of my bedroom, he's yelling at the kids about something as soon as he walks in the door. So, it all started out bad. later, He gets pissed that there are no clean dishes and he has to pull it out of the dishwasher (they were clean, but not done yet) and then slams the pantry door and we had already gotten finished eating at the table (during football season, he hardly eats with us), well, he got his food and I was getting up to rinse mydish and he yells with the "f" word about how no ones gonna eat with him and he'll eat by himself. well, that set me off and I left to the kids bedroom and cried. yesterday was a bad day for me...had picked up after my s3 for 3 hours or more, and then the neighbor kids trashed his room after I had totally cleaned it.
Well, today was almost the same, we end up fighting, or it's more I'm practically crying and he's yelling in my face. I really hate that. he does it to the kids when they get in trouble. I told him not to yell at me, I'm right here. I can't even remember what was said, but him saying it's my job to take care of the kids and housework, and that he doesn't know what I do all day.
BUT, the good thing.. which never happened before, was him appologizing.
"Sorry bout everything. Been aweful week. Really am sorry n I know you do alot n work hard everyday at home n with kids. Have a good meeting."
I said, thank you so much for that. and that I could do better and I want him to come home to a great place. He said, Ok I do, have fun love you.
I get this when I'm in the car, so then tears are falling again! except they're happy tears.
okay, just had to write all that cause I'll forget it by next week!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Hey ST - oh man, how'd I get so far behind on you?? I'm sorry!!
Yeah I know what you mean - the GAL'ing can also get pricey. I hope we can think of some ideas for you.
Salsa - yeah, you're pretty close to the guy on that one I think. Not as much as some of the other Latin dances, but still might be kind of awkward. My friend has been taking a bunch of classes and said she actually finds the Tango the easiest of them! That surprised me.
Ooh it would be very cool to get a band going... your music is so good!!
Getting in shape, well, that's always good - and the nice thing is you can find ways to do that for free or almost free.
As for the bellydancing - the people with back problems have to be cautious on a few moves but they do great with 99% of it. One of the big things with bellydancing is that you're TOTALLY isolating parts of you - so your hips slide side to side without really using your back or any other "parts." If it hurts in your back, typically you're doing it wrong. A few of the moves really do USE your back so they have to avoid those, but I've been surprised how well people do.
I'm doing pretty good. I still look like a complete klutz, but I'm having fun and I even managed to remember my first "pattern" (i.e. combo of moves) last week.
Sorry you have had such a rough week!! I hope it improves soon.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Hey ST - Even in light of H's bad mood, I think it all played out well. I think what stick in my mind is that we have to change our reactions to our spouses behavior if we expect them to react differently toward us. I'm not sure what you did different (maybe you aren't sure either - LOL), but it ultimately worked. Whatever we do, we have to do out of love. Not anger. Ultimately, you done good.
Me - 43 and She -36. No kids. Married 7 yrs - Together 14 yrs
thanks guys, I'll post more tomorrow... gonna make supper, but thanks for the encouragement!!!!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Nikki, thanks for the compliment on my music, but actually I was just singing the song, it wasn't my OWN song. I wish! not sure if you'd actually like MY music, I kinda want an evanescence/r&b kinda sound.
Salsa- guess that might not be the right choice for me...Im not sure it'd be a good idea for me to get that close to another guy. That surprised me too on the Tango.
not sure exactly how the bellydancing works, but it's my very lower back that has the problem, so those kinds of things don't usually work well for me, when I'm not doing my best that is. I may have to try it out when I get a little better. unfortunately I don't get better too quickly, especially when my s3 tries to head butt me in my butt. that happened yest. I think I need to get HIM a life, before I get me one!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Hey Phil!! I'm not really sure that I did anything different. I really let things get to me too personally sometimes... things like H slamming doors, or cussing/yelling. We argued about how he said he wasn't doing it to me, but he was acting out on things that I'M in charge of, like the dishes. So how is that NOT yelling at me? then of course when he said, "What do you do all day?" then I KNEW he was yelling AT me.
I think my usual old response was leaving, depressed, crying. and I had to do that again. I started trying to talk to him (the kids were in the room-- and I can't even remember what it was he was yelling about now) and I couldn't even explain myself cause I started crying so I left and went in the bathroom. Then what sucked is he followed me in there, told kids to leave, and started slamming the other doors and proceeds to yell in my face.
well... I have to stop taking things so personally.. although it REALLY hard... but he told me he had a really bad week, he hurt his back, and so he probalby just let everything out on me.
Thanks for telling me I did good.
and actually, before his appology text, I decided I would make a list of everything I do everyday for a week, that way he can SEE it. it could be an eye opener for me though. but hey, I'm working on my MV business too, so it's not just playing on the computer all the time.
This week WILL be better! it better be, my H is off for three days. so is s9. yikes!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I've been hard at work! Spent almost two whole days cooking.
I have a problem.... my H was like, why don't you just buy those made at the store, speaking of the pies since my homemade crusts were falling apart, and i'm like, no way, it's a pride thing!
So I made... two pies, a pumpkin (okay, I did use a can. I'm not gonna stick my hand in a yucky pumpkin! haha), and a made up one since I'm retarded and bought cherry filling instead of cherry PIE filling which means there are no cherries in it! so my s9 said, put apples in it. So I did. and some cream cheese filling. Turned out pretty okay though... kids loved it.
THEN....smoked maple turkey (luckily I bought a cooked one on accident, otherwise I probably would have killed myself from cooking too much), homemade noodles I learned from my mom and she from her mom, green bean casserole... not your normal... this one has cucumbers, worchestershire, white wine, cheddar cheese and other stuff.. unfortunately I'm the only one who likes this dish, but it's REALLY good (I like gourmet like dishes, so I just have richer taste!) then cornbread sage dressing (all from scratch), and mashed potatoes just for the hubby. I think that's it.
so pretty proud of myself for all that. kinda wish someone else was here to try it too, but oh well. I'm sure someday I'll be a grandma that will have everyone over at our house and I'll have to do it every year. yikes. what a thought!
well, hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving!
I praise Jesus for everyone I've met on here! You guys are such very wonderful people!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
