Wow... so much of the same blindness... Switch the genders and you could be describing my W's attitude about her A. My spouse too will not acknowledge the role that her illicit R has had on the continuing dissolution of our M. No, maybe the A is not the cause of our M breaking, but it sure as h*ll is the chief reason why W has no interest in repairing it.
A couple of things are in your favor though, LO. First, at the very least, your H both recognizes and acknowledges the pain that a 3-way relationship is causing you. Second, he is reacting to your pain not by ignoring or denying it but by instinctively attempting to assuage it, by what means, feeble or not, he has at his disposal.
