I don't have any idea what my H is telling people about us. I told him at the beginning of all of this that I would not discuss the details because it was in the best interests of my daughters to keep my mouth shut. But I also told him that, if asked, I would state that this is not my decision or action. I told him up front that this was important to me because I do not believe in divorce. And I have done that. People have come up to me with the "I'm sorry", "how are you" and "I wasn't aware there was a problem". If appropriate, I would say that is was not my decision...but I never gave, nor do I give any other information. Even with his parents - I do not know what they have been told. We have always been close and they called to tell me that they love me, etc. I said my standard phrase (not my action) and let it go at that. As a side note, I do know that he shared intimate details of our sex life with a friend of ours. The friend was asking me about it and I responded with the "that really is personal".
Ugh. That is why you don't get into details about personal matters.
I have removed myself from it. I try not to think about what he tells people or what people think. I have had to or my emotions would run all over the place.
I don't know if you are hoping for a reconciliation with your W or not, but filing for D doesn't necessarily mean that you will get a D. But whether or not you actually do divorce - what has happened so far does impact your kids. But what would talking to them about the details resolve? I can't imagine that they would want to know about your W's extracurricular activities. I was the one in my family who found out about my dad's...trust me, kids don't want to know this kind of information, no matter what age.
My husband was also seen as a great person in this town. That is changing.... People here don't care for husbands/fathers who walk out on their family. And the sad thing is, is that he predicted it. He told me during the speech that he expected to be "shunned".
Scottymack - simply put...you can never go wrong with taking the high road. In my opinion - when you try to counter claim what your wife is telling everyone, you stoop to her level. Is this really something that should be played out in public? What does it resolve?
I have tried to handle my situation with dignity and grace. I have tried to set an example for my daughters on how to deal with disappointment in life. I have been trying to take the high road.
I don't want to be traveling the same road as H anyway so it works out well for me.
