BlueJay's Story

[NNP1965]

Hi Blue, I am so sorry you are in such pain. I can really feel it through your writing.

I am not very good at expressing myself so I hope what I am about to write makes sense.

You wrote:

I'm very happy that things are working out for you, though.

Things are not JUST working out for me. I honestly have no idea if my marriage will survive in the end. When I have done all my work on me, I still have an H who has his own issues, but refuses to acknowledge them. What I am focusing on right now is making myself a whole and healthy person. Because of that I can see some positve things happening in my marriage and that gives me great hope where there used to only be desperate wishing.

Sometimes I feel like I do not belong on these boards since I don't really fit anywhere, but DBing is honestly about working on ones self. So I continue to hang around, kind of like a bad penny.

I agree that you should not pursue your wife or try to get her to do anything. I think what you need to do is work on you and let me caution you it won't be easy. It's not magic, it is very hard work, kind of like losing weight... but it is so worth it in the end.

It's possible that once you realize what an awesome man you are, she may realize it too. Maybe not, maybe her issues will keep her from it. I hope not. All you can really do is work on you.