Thanks for the kind words, but I have to admit, these days I don't feel awesome about much.
I understand what you are saying about the counselling. I don't want to go to marital counselling. I've been hurting for so long in this stupid marriage, I'm just tired of it. I don't want to try anything anymore. I just want out. The thought of doing anything that could translate to pursuing her, makes my stomach hurt. I'm done.
As for individual counselling, yeah, it would probably do me a world of good until I walked in my front door and was faced with this marriage. I think I'm really in a bad place where I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel, so I don't want to bother with anything that might make the light appear, because I believe there is no light. Does that makes sense?
I just want to be loved, and I'm tired of working so hard to make her love me. I don't want to do any more work at it.
I'm very happy that things are working out for you, though.
