My goodness W8ing I could of written most of your post. So much of it is how I am feeling.
I too hate him sometimes when I think of the pain he has caused. Like yesterday when s6 showed me the picture he drew, I wanted to punch my H in the face when I saw him.
I think around the holidays is the worse, but you will make it through this. I didn't think I would, but last year I managed to have a descent Christmas.
Maybe you can try to start a new tradition with you and the children. Something you have never done before.
Maybe you can buy some new ornaments and new stocking? That is what I have done. There was certain Christmas items I couldn't even bring up from the basement because they were too sentimental. I don't know if I will ever be able to use them again, so I got new ones.
I am sorry you are in so much pain. This time of the year is especially tough on us LBS but thank goodness we have each other.
