WAW hasn't walked yet, but emotionally dead

[mako]

I was having a decent time this weekend, hanging out with friends, watching movies, went to a museum. I'm at a friend's house about an hour away. Occupying myself so haven't thought of W much, have a little bit though.

W called today, told me what she's been doing. She's been packing, so she'll start moving out Monday, to a place about 20 minutes from our place. Says she was worried about packing while I'm there so she wanted to get most of it out of the way. I told her not to worry about that. She also told me of her Thanksgiving plans, going out of town with some friends. Also got a couple call back interviews in New York so she may be moving even further away soon...

Everything seems to be falling into place for her, which doesn't seem good to me. If she's getting an exciting fresh start and a new job in a new city and finally done with our so called loveless marriage then when is she going to ever start missing me? It's like she's just ready to start a new life, and even though she's said a number of times she doesn't want me out of her life, I don't know how much to believe.

So, I tried to sound happy and upbeat, but it's hard to sometimes. She's nice to me, and I to her, but she just feels so cold when it comes to the R, like it's just a done deal and there's no looking back. I know it's still relatively early in all this, and I know I can't control her feelings, can only work on making me a better person...but I went from having a positive weekend to all of a sudden being pretty down.