w8ting, the questions you pose are the ones that all of us here have asked ourselves.
Is MLC real? And if it is, can it excuse the appalling behaviour? Is our spouse suffering from it in any case?
If they did want to come home could we accept them back after all they have done?.
Without being a doormat, and without suggesting that we should do other than work on ourselves and GAL, all these questions are about US. When we marry we become a part of something that is bigger than this, and this is what we are fighting for - not our own skins, but the fabric of our lives, our families.
There are casualities - some spouses do not make it through this terrible life transition that exacts such a price, and some LBS realise that this is not the marriage, and the partner that they truly want.
We are not saints, and we shouldn't beat ourselves up if we can't make it, if we decide to stop. But know that you are not alone, that we all question ourselves [or most of us do - a few have total confidence that all will be well -and even then it is'nt easy for them]. I had a very low moment this evening, facing another Christmas without my h, making the best Christmas I can for my family, and trying not to feel like poor me.
What keeps us going? I don't know - prayer, stubborness, love, stupidity . . .
