Bluejay, I guess my first thought is that your W is taking advantage of you and seems to have absolutely no respect for you either.
I would think maybe Corri may suggest that No More Mr. Nice Guy book. Maybe b/c of the weight & self esteem issues all your life, it would help you to gain the respect you need for yourself and thus "stand up" to your W about your needs, etc.
I know in my M I may have gotten to the point of not respecting my H too much after awhile. I have always had a pretty strong personality and need/needed someone who can at least "seem" stronger than me and so if I felt I was then put in the driver's seat in most of the aspects of our life, I somewhat lost respect for him.
My H had to finally say and truly want a D before I woke up and made any changes. I sincerely didn't understand the extent to which he was unhappy, etc. I didn't understand the whole rejection thing. Especially w/ her abuse background and then the promiscuity, it may go hand in hand in the fact that I feel that a lot of women grow up thinking men "just want sex & that's it." I didn't realize that men actually do put so much more w/ it as far as the emotions/feeing intimate, etc.
Anyway, I'm obviously not saying for you to D your W, but it may take some pretty big extremes before she finds any reason to change her ways.
Last edited by RedHeadWife; 11/17/0709:37 PM.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
