Bluejay, I do not often stop by this forum, but happened to read your story today. Great job on the weight loss!!! You must feel so awesome about yourself for that accomplishment! Keep up the good work.
I can tell you that I was abused as a child. I have lived my life thinking I was a survivor. I thought if I could just survive long enough to get out on my own, I never had to mention anything that happened to anyone and I did not have to acknowledge it myself. BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!
I am now in my 40s, married almost 19 years with two soon to be teenage boys and come to find out my whole entire being (mind, body and soul) was being ruled by what happened to me and how I grew up. Talk about a rude awakening!
I decided to go see a counselor in June of 2006. I went because of the problems in my marriage. I did not really think it would help, but I did not know what else to do. I continued to go for a year not really even knowing why I continued to go. At some point and without knowing exactly when it happened it did start helping. Now I go twice per week. My C said she would rather see a patient every day for 6 months than once a year for 5 years.
Anyway I am writing this long drawn out post to tell you that your wife needs to address what happened to her. She probably doesn't think she does, but she does.
I believe you would benefit from some counseling also. Having been overweight and feeling like you did not deserve better treatment than you were getting are good reasons to go.
I hope you will see someone and I hope your wife will someday too.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
