just thought i'd check back in and offer a bit of hope for everyone that is either at the beginning of this process or a year in.
i can't tell you how many times i wanted to throw in the towel. my H and I have separated 8 times within the past 2 years, 6 of those times occuring within the past 6 months. i DB'd my ass off. i forgave and turned a blind eye. i finally let go, really let go with the knowledge that i would be ok, with or without him and that i truly cannot control anything but my own actions. it was not until i did this that my H came back, all the way.
now we are struggling with the imbalance that DBing can cause. if you've been the one taking the blame for everything in order to save your marriage, after enough time, the other person is bound to buy into your screwing the whole thing up, even though it ALWAYS takes two to get into this spot.
what this whole process has taught me, however, is that after seeing the junkyard of love, after seeing the truly ugly parts of each others personalities, if you can still come together and choose to love each other, you really can make it through anything.
just some thoughts. thought i'd open up my thread for questions or advice, if you are where i've been; separation, infidelity, emotional neglect, children in separation, ideas for doing 180's, or if you just need encouragement. i will not pretend to know everything, but feel i've gained a bit of insight and if i can help others like i've been helped, then i'm happy to do it.
