I have to say, it's kind of weird for me to be finally communicating with all the regulars. I've been hanging around here for so long, that it feels like I'm talking to celebrities or something!
Anyway, yeah, that's what's sort of comforting to me, the familiarity between everyone's stories. I know weekends are slow, and that's ok. To be honest, I really have given up on us at this point. I'm so done trying to change the marriage. It feels like I've been on a hamster wheel for years, and I'm tired of running. So if I get no advice, that's cool, I'm not really looking for any.
I am 34, and she is 41. We have been together for about 12 years, living together for 10, married for 7.
I know I've got a lot of life ahead of me, and I have given lots of thought to that, and it just makes me want to cry.
It's hard not to feel repulsive when you've only been with one woman, who for the longest time hasn't wanted anything to do with you physically. You are very lucky to have had other lovers. I'm jealous!
She has not sought help for the rape. Given the rape and past promiscuity plus her lack of desire, she clearly has some baggage. She prefers to pretend she doesn't, and continue living her life this way. We have never had any kind of counselling. Given that I have given up on us having a real relationship, I'm not interested in therapy. What's the point, at this point?
As for the weight loss, I got very sick, spent a week in bed with a severe stomach bug. I lost a lot of weight from that and the weeks that followed because of decreased appetite. I looked at that as a gift, and once my appetite returned, I turned to a controlled carbohydrate diet and exercise. I still have about 60 pounds to go.
