Raining here in Shinyville...well in the city around it anyway . I like the rain.
Classes went great today (I won two more converts to a Psych Major ), tonight H and I going to my Sister's place for dinner with her and her H.
My H is making his infamous rosted red pepper pasta sauce .
Spoke with H briefly about the LL book. Asked him to guess my top to LL's. (He'd skimmed through the book a couple of years ago, when sis loaned it to us for the first time ). He said (with little or no hesitation) Gifts and Words of Affirmation.
Well.....you know what I posted above (still haven't gotten to the "Words" part yet). Acts of Service and Physical Touch do it for me.
Wonder if H was a bit surprised? I pointed out just how wonderful (and loved) I felt on Wed. when he cleaned the house and made those Calzones for us.
Quote: It was going nicely until one of those moments hit me…the plot of “That 70’s show” was, you guessed it, cheating.
You know, SB, I notice this commonality in many of the TV shows and movies shown these days. I think it says something about our society... Heck, the last two movies I saw with my W dealt with infidelity.
Quote: What is it about me that puts him to sleep like that? Is it just an escape from the misery that is being H.
I simply think our Ses are tired from all of the lies they've had to deal with and remember, and all of the guilt piled on top of their backs. My W was (and still is) always tired...falling asleep on the couch by 9:00 and sleeping later than me each day. I thought it was depression. Well, now I know it was the pressure of her A that made her tired... Now, I think it's just residual fatigue...but I do think her anxiety over the whole thing practically made her come out of her skin. I believe that's why our WASes want to escape all of the time...they can't stand looking at our faces knowing what they are doing because it stresses them out...
Had a great dinner with my Sis and her H last night. Perhaps a little too much wine? Well, not for me.
Was a little envious of how appreciative my BIL is of my sister, in physical and verbal ways. Showing us pics he took of her on their trip to Mexico, compliments and playful physical displays...genuine desire...sigh...
H's tummy was bothering him all day, pretty bad during the night. I ran a few errands and picked up some new books to read. One is Michelle's "Sex starve marriage", another is on Control in R's (want to inform myself), and score of scores...Tara Bennet-Goleman's "Emotional Alchemy...How the mind can heal the heart"....was on sale, hardback, for $6.99 I bought two. My original copy was never returned to me by a student who borrowed it last spring .
It's a great book which combines elements of psychology, family of origin, mindfulness, meditaiton, emotional healing....Foreward is by the Dalai Lama.
So I guess I'll have lots of reading ahead! Almost finished LL, and am thinking that words of affirmation may be tied for second with physical touch...
Just watched "The Usual Suspects" (great film), H is sleeping. So I'll check on some of you!
Hey!....Erinr!!!!!Your thread in Newcomers is officially locked out. I should have been post #154...but I'd rather be #1 on your new thread over here in Piecing!
Great stuff in your last posts. So FF is going to hang herself and you get to come off smelling like roses! You gotta love that!
Also great work with handling yourself in both the FF issue and discussing your feelings/wakefulness with H. His replies are very reassuring, wouldn't you say>?
Quoting shinybear: Tara Bennet-Goleman's "Emotional Alchemy...How the mind can heal the heart"....was on sale, hardback, for $6.99 I bought two. My original copy was never returned to me by a student who borrowed it last spring .
It's a great book which combines elements of psychology, family of origin, mindfulness, meditaiton, emotional healing....Foreward is by the Dalai Lama.
I've got the book out of the library but haven't started reading it yet. Great to hear that it's a good one!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
I pulled myself out of bed at around noon. Ever have one of those days where you feel like you could just sleep right through it?
Well that's me today. So H has gone to his Sis's for the March/April family birthday celebration (including mine ) on his own.
Was very nice and understanding. I'm rather looking forward to an entire afternoon alone in the house. It's been a very long time.
Sage, and everyone else with these issues, here's another book title for you: "Stop Controlling Me!" by Richard J. Stenack PhD.
It's a small paperback, easy reading, but very insightful as to just what controlling behaviours are, where they come from (family of origin, childhood) and why they might emerge in an R...looks at both sides, the "controller" and the "controlled". How to break the cycle etc.
What's interesting to me is that although I have been cast as the main Controller in our R, there are certain aspects of H's behaviour which were/are themselves controlling (witholding affection for one).
We had an interesting, lighthearted exchange just before he left today. I was in the back room on the lazy boy reading the Control book. I mentioned (for at least the second time, how good it was, how he should read it).
He sat on the other chair to chat, so I rested the book on the arm of my chair. Our cat M jumped up on me and he said "Move that book, Mommy so I can sit there". (Yes we engage in talking through our cats ).
Mock angry, I waved the book at him and said "Stop trying to control me!!!" (The title is in very large print).
To which H responded (laughingly, it was all very lighthearted) "Stop trying to control me by making me read your control book!" I play-swatted him and said "Good one!!!".
And it was, no? Rather a nice way to say, I get it. It's a good book, maybe I'll give it a glance if you give it a rest!!! Great to have some levity back in our lives.
Quoting shinybear: Sage, and everyone else with these issues, here's another book title for you: "Stop Controlling Me!" by Richard J. Stenack PhD.
Thanks for this! Just put it on reserve at the library (aren't online request systems awesome?)
Quote:
What's interesting to me is that although I have been cast as the main Controller in our R, there are certain aspects of H's behaviour which were/are themselves controlling (witholding affection for one).
Yah -- just because I'm overtly controlling doesn't mean that I'm the only controlling one in the bunch.
I love the exchange you had with H. over the book -- seems like very good stuff.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
. I like the rain.
), tonight H and I going to my Sister's place for dinner with her and her H. 
). He said (with little or no hesitation) Gifts and Words of Affirmation.
Heck, the last two movies I saw with my W dealt with infidelity.
