Thanks for the bio. So many elements are familiar to me and will be to many of the other posters. (Board can be slow on the weekend.) I'm sure you've discovered this as you've read around on this forum.
I'm also familiar with the "if I make myself more attractive,* do all these wonderful things, buy presents, be very nice, s/he will HAVE to want me. [sigh]
How old are you? (Sorry if you've already said and I missed it.) I'm guessing late 30's? You've got a LOT of life ahead of you. I'm sure you've been giving some thought to that...
Blue said: "I must be so repulsive, I'm sure I would have the same effect on any woman."
It's VERY important to banish this thought from your mind. If your W is your first and only, it's easy to go here, but don't. Fortunately (or not), I have had other relationships before the current one, one with a dynamite lover who adored my body, and with a very loving husband who also adored me. Thank God for them, or I would be inclined to think I'm a complete loser. IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S NOT YOU.
Your W clearly has some issues with sex and vulnerability-- completely understandable given her history. Has she ever sought help for the rape? Does she have any idea that she is still suffering from that wound? Have either of you ever had any sort of counseling or therapy?
______________ *Not to minimize this huge weight loss! How did you do it?
