Shiny, I'm a little behind on your thread, so I have some catching up to do.
I just wanted to stop by and tell you thanks for your input on my thread. You guys all mean so much to me, and I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you so much for all your encouragement.
Me 47 Ex H 46 Bomb 9/02 D final 3/04 Ex H now married to OW
------------ This is surviving. There is no such thing as a normal life, there's just life. So get on with it and enjoy it!
Shiny, you are doing a great job! You are exploring yourself and asking legitimate questions to yourself...when you probably should be asking Mr Shiny. I know I'm calling the kettle black because of late I have been afraid to ask questions for fear of knowing the answers. You are further along in your dbing than I, or at least much stronger. So, ask away if you feel the need to.
But be careful...my W is tired of answering questions. I'm afraid if I keep asking, I'll make her feel even more guilty and push her away.
Where do we draw the line on when to stop with the questions?
You're right though, I do need to direct more of my questions to the source himself.
For example, last night. We had that wonderful dinner (H is becoming as good a cook as I...not sure how I feel about that!)...drank some wine, listened to Tom Waits and other great tunes.
Although my H says that "physical touch" is one of his top Love Languages, I noticed that pretty much all the overtures of a physical nature (dancing close, kissing, touching) were initiated by ME. I was a little distressed to feel him actually pulling away from my kisses, trying to "peck" when I was going for more. (Remember that I have assured him that physical displays of this sort need not lead to "the act").
I asked him for some specific touches (nothing overtly sexual), now I hope he might initiate some of these on his own.
I think I should buy Michelle's book on "The Sex Starved Marriage" to see if there are any insights there.
Other than that, a very nice night, and a cloudy, quiet, slow kind of day. Think I'll pick up the "Love Languages" book again (haven't touched it since Bomb #3).
H is out for just a little bit, so I'll check on as many of you as I can!
Thanks for checking on me yesterday. I appreciate all the insight.
You and MrSB seem so romantic. That kind of stuff never happens around here. Never has either so it certainly isn't a result of our sitch. I always know H is comfy and happy when he's goofy. Making stupid comments, acting silly towards me or the kids. It's cute, but flowers every now and again would certainly be nice.
Enough about me...see how nice of an evening you can have minus sarcasm? This is coming from one smart-a$$ to another. My H doesn't appreciate it either and when I'm in that kind of mood, things just don't go so well. Sarcasm can really come off like we're picking fights. Though I think at times, its my passive aggressive way of doing just that!
I'm glad you felt good enough to ask for what you want. That's something I strive for. Sounds like you had an all around good night. Hopefully today will be just as good!
ERin
"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."
-George Bernard Shaw
Did some reading this afternoon...my #1 love language is "Acts of Service", a close second is physical touch...havn't got to words of affirmation yet, how many of these things can we claim??
Read the lovelanguages book and I think I came up with 4 of them for myself. I think the main thing is to go with the one that is most important. It's a tough call though somethimes figuring out someone else's language.
BTW my W's is Acts of Service (I think).
The book is a pretty quick read. I read it in the bookstore -- Nice bookstore with comfy chairs !!!
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