Hey, just wanted to say that your anger and not seeing her as the same person anymore is perfectly normal. My H ended up feeling the same way about me. He said he saw an "angry, tired, bitter" person when he looked at me when he finally dropped the D bomb on me. However, now things are really good w/ us, so I must "assume" that you can turn that around so if she ever does come back to you, rest assured you will still love her and be able to look at her w/out feeling sick to your stomach.
On the other hand, you will always see her as a 'different' person. After everything I have gone through w/ H, he is not the man I married and he is a different person to me now, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I still love him w/ all of my heart and can look at this "new H" and know that everything's going to be ok.
As far as the OM/internet thing goes, she's just hiding . . . I had a "chance" if you will to have an EA and it does feel good. Just being honest here. You get all those butterflies in your stomach again, which isn't always there w/ your spouse after you've been married for awhile.
Hopefully though, as in everyone's sitch on this Board, your W will wake up and realize how good she has it and that "comfort" in an M/R is a good thing too.
Hang in there. It ain't over til it's over. I had lost all hope in my sitch as well. H was deadset on D and I never thought that we would be as good as we are today. I am actually glad the whole sitch happened b/c there's no telling where we would be right now if it hadn't. Certainly not in the good place that we are!!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
It's early, huh? My internal time clock doesn't acknowledge weekends I guess. Plus little one is up.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
