NikkiB #22 (almost separated)

[NikB]

Hey all - just checking in real quick.

ST - thanks! I thought it was an OK balance. Part of me feels a bit guilty for not spending more time w/him, but I think I did pretty well.

Having a great start to my weekend and just wanted to share. Those who've followed me awhile will know my weekends are usually my "anxious time." Even when I do pretty good planning ahead I find myself wandering whatever store I can find open on Friday night just to NOT be home at times.

Tonight was different finally - and the whole weekend will be, actually, so I'm excited for that.

I went to a Tupperware party.. which I know doesn't sound that exciting but it was fun, haven't been to one in awhile. It was hosted by a coworker who I'm becoming better friends with, and she had some really amazing friends who were there too. A lot of strong, close-knit, independent women - neat to talk to. They are the type of women who you just KNOW are ok on their own - 2 are happily married, 1 not so happily, and 1 not in an R at all. I think it helped to talk to them all - helped me kind of "get" the detachment thing. They were all very much detached, no matter what the status of their R (or non-R). We ended up hanging out talking and laughing for hours, which was so fun. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants which hasn't happened to me in a VERY long time. (ok sorry if that was TMI.. but it's true!!)

My friend has one room in her house that's close to the color of paint I was looking for, so I literally took my palm tree pillow over there, held it up to the wall, and it looked good (also got the thumbs up from her interior decorator friend!). She gave me some paint to try out on my wall tomorrow and make sure it doesn't turn some funky color - if it looks as good on my wall as it did on hers, I'll be getting that paint tomorrow. I'm also cooking for my dinner club party tomorrow night.

Saturday night - dinner club party. I've finally gotten to know a kind of "core" group of people who go, so I am excited for that. Doesn't feel so much like I'm the 'new kid.'

Sunday got an invite from a friend to go to a local craft/food type festival, it's sort of a holiday kickoff tradition around here. Should be a lot of fun!!

All in all, shaping up to be a very good weekend.

Thanksgiving is still kind of up in the air which is bugging me a bit - plans with my dad fell through (he's going to his STBXW's family dinner!). So it's either go w/my mom and grandma.. which would be OK but they are both really negative and feed off each other. Or, have an "orphan Thanksgiving" (for people new to the area with no nearby family/friends) here at my house. Or just stay home and do none of the above.. which is tempting actually, but probably not the best idea. Well.. or, I can go to H's family thing. I'm invited and welcome and probably only 4 of the 30 people know our sitch... but it's funny, this is just not even an option in my mind. I don't want to go - and I'm letting myself be OK with that. Feels good.

Already have the weekend after planned - Friday/Saturday visiting my aunt and other grandma with my dad (our original Thanksgiving plan)... Sunday is Trans Siberian Orchestra with my mom, a holiday tradition we started a few years back.

In fact I have at least some GAL stuff planned for pretty much through mid-January... not even holiday stuff, just other things like my dance classes, meetup groups (that I've gotten to know people so it's more like hanging out w/friends now)... it feels SOOO good. It freaked me out the first time I had to choose between two conflicting activities that were all me - no H to consider, I just had too many choices. Nice!!

Hope everyone's doing well. Cross your fingers for me on the latest paint color attempt!