Sounds like things are improving slowly. I have no career advice. You are the professional in that field, so I think you will choose what is best for you.
As for the relationship, I do have some advice. I think you should not worry about pursuing behavior. If you and your wife are to get along and put your lives back together, it will be you who makes all the overtures. She's not going to do it. If she isn't looking for a replacement for OM, then this is your opportunity.
The backrub was a great idea. And it sounds like it was warmly received. So that is perfect. Not too pushy, but the warmth of human touch which can thaw the ice. Backrubs, nice meals, maybe inviting her to take a walk, or go for coffee. Somehow you need to get back to sharing a dream together. You must find a way to plant the seed of a shared dream with her.
Keep up the good work. rome wasn't built in a day.
