Help me thru this sitch

[Pudmuddle]

Thanks Heimy. You guys are funny. LOL. Glad I could provide something for the deprived.

A GREAT UPDATE:

This is so awesome. We had a breakthrough tonight. My H came home from work and he seemed bothered by something. I am still shaking because this is so AWESOME. Ok, I'll get to it now.

I was asking him how work was, and he kept saying it was ok. But something was bothering him. So I said is it something at work? something bad happen? And then he bursts out with "I just can't believe you are going out tomorrow night". Me shocked. Ok, wait this is the guy who wants to be with OW. Hmmm. So I say "Ok, why is that bothering you".

He: Because it seems like you are going out and having fun, when I had asked you to go before and you wouldn't.

Me: Well, yeah, I need to get a life too. And you are going out too, so why is it wrong for me.

He: Yeah, I realize that's very hypocritical...

Then he literally GUSHED about all the things that have been bothering him in our R, I sat back and watched the show. Kind of like watching fireworks! I agreed with him about how I had not treated him with respect, how I had let him down as a wife, etc, how I had not been there as a friend. I just listened and validated everything he said. He then proceeded to tell me that the sex with OW was not that important it was the respect factor she was giving him<--(This is what the book says and now I believe it!!) We talked about what was really important to him to make him feel loved and what was important to me to make me feel loved. He also said he is in a really bad place in his life and he doesn't want to be there anymore. He also said he had really seen the good changes in me and that he admired that. I told him I hadn't been good to him for so long and I no longer wanted to be that person.

Oh my gosh, you guys this was so awesome to watch this unfolding right before my eyes. I was on cloud nine. I couldn't wait to come in here and share this wonderful news! I know it's not over yet, but this is such an awesome breakthrough. And as gushing as I am here, I still did not show that to him, I remained calm.

He got up and we held each other for about 5 minutes.

He: We still have lot of talking to do don't we?

Me: Yes

He: But it's going to take awhile for me to change

Me: It's ok, I will be here for you. Changes do take a long time to break.

Then he proceeded to tell me how awful he felt for reading my journal and only picking out the nasty things. He said he was sure there were many good things too, that he had refused to see.

And here's a better part...He is actually helping a friend move some stuff in his house!!! He is not seeing OW tonight!!! This is so amazing.

I am sharing my pure JOY here so that I won't overdo it with him and set us back. But thank you all for sharing this great news!!