Walk Away Wife - My Sitch

[bhopeful]

I just called my WAW. I don’t know why, but I was very nervous. I got her voicemail as I expected, so that was good. I wrote myself a script before I called her. This is what I said: "Hi. I'm just calling to say Happy Birthday! I hope that it is good and it’s filled with a lot of love and laughter. - Take Care. Bye."
I really do hope that she has a nice birthday. I don’t know why I felt so jittery about calling her though. Still shaking…

[Pudmuddle]

Good job B! I say if a script helps you, more power to you!

I still get shaky when talking to my H about most things. It's probably because everything is so unknown and unexpected. And you don't know what's coming your way next.

You did well.

[bhopeful]

Thanks PM. This is the first time that I used a script, but I wanted to make sure that I sounded upbeat and happy and not have to worry about the words. I didn't want to be "Um, ahh, yeah, so i guess Happy Birthday..."

It's good to know I'm not the only one who gets nervous. I did practice some of the breathing techniques that I recently learned in yoga before hand and they helped.

[bhopeful]

Well. She never called back. I have to get out of the house tonight. All of my friends are busy though.
I think that I'm going to take myself on a dinner and movie date. Not much of a PMA going for me today...

[Pudmuddle]

Yes, go do your thing! Whatever that is! Trust me, just getting out, even if by yourself is better than at home moping.

Have fun!!

[bhopeful]

Scratch that last post... SHE CALLED!!!

I almost didn't answer because I wasn't sure that I could stay positive, but I'm glad that I did. We mostly chatted about work and stuff, but she pushed me in wanting to know what I've been up to lately. She came right out and asked me if I've been involved in any new activities. So, I told her. Up until now, I've been pretty coy about what I've been filling my time with. But since she pushed I told her about all of the GAL stuff that I've been doing. I hope that was the right move, but since I don't ever see her, telling her is the only way that she's going to know. I cracked a few jokes and one had her laughing pretty good. I listened to her complaints about work. All in all, I think it went pretty good. There was no mention of the offer that I made to take her out to dinner and definitely no R talk. There were some long pauses when we really didn't have much to say and she was just like um, so... In retrospect I probably should have been the one to hang up first, but it felt good to hear her voice and her lingering on the phone felt good too.

I'm off to get some dinner, but I wanted to share this. It's amazing how one simple phone call can change your entire outlook for the night. I'm still going out alone, but now I think that there will be a little skip in my step...

[Pudmuddle]

It's working bhopeful! That sounds very positive. It does feel good when you see the little signs of hope, that's why it is so important to notice them!

I had told my H I was GAL too, when he got more inquisitive as to what I was doing. I think them hearing that kind of puts a little shock in their system.

Go read my latest post by the way, I had some great news too!

I'm skipping right next to you!!

[bhopeful]

Yeah. I think that she's been wondering all week. I told her last Sunday that I was busy every night of the week, but didn't tell her doing what. She said tonight "You said you were busy every night this week. What have you been doing?". It felt good to know that she cared. Small victories. Every step takes me farther in this journey.

I'll go check out your thread right now. It's good to have someone to skip with. I look kind of silly doing it alone.

[bhopeful]

Here's a question for all the LBS's out there. How many of you have a WAS that has never asked for a D and never talks about the R? She's been gone for 2 months now, so you would think that she would be leaning one way or the other. She just seems content and happy when I talk to her. She must be feeling the limbo that I'm in too or not? I guess I'll probably never know, but I would appreciate some input.
Peace, B

[bhopeful]

^ Bump ^