MPT I am in your situation. I have/had little (or no) sex drive and I absolutely hate myself for feeling this way. As a result of this, my husband has filed for divorce and it may have cost me my marriage....although I am still trying to be hopeful. Rather than openly trying to communicate about our problems, we both avoided them. We had no idea how to talk about our sexual relationship. I was a fool for thinking he was okay with our situation and I until I read the SSM, I did not realize how badly I was hurting my husband. I pushed him away to the point that he finally gave up pursuing me. I made him feel unattractive, unloved and unwanted, when nothing could be further from the truth. Since I have read the SSM and For Women Only (can't remember the author but it is two sisters) I have noticed considerable change in my "desire". (I have also been discussing these issues in my counseling sessions, which has greatly helped) I have actually been fantasizing about my husband...something I have never done before. I realize that I do have a desire for sex and physically intimacy, it was just buried someone very deep inside me. I encourage you to do things that make you feel more sexy. It probably sounds stupid, but it has helped me. I pay more attention to my figure, I lost weight, shave my legs daily, bought sexy new underwear. (hey, it can't hurt) I pray that its not too late and once my husband gets past his feelings of anger we can try to work through our problems together. I hope that if I feel sexy then he will be attracted to me again. The few times we actually had sex the past two years it was quick because I just wanted to get it over with, how horrible must I have made my husband feel? I did not even realize the damage I was doing. Is your husband open to reading the SSM? Perhaps it would help him understand how you've been feeling? Maybe it's a start....
