Some folks are beating you with a nightstick because that's what they would do to themselves had they known what they would face, 5, 10, 20, 30 years later.
Why don't you explain the whole situation to us when you get a chance. I would really like to hear it. I am also still interested in the friends issue.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Corri you don't even know the whole situation, stop the damn flaming plz, or just stop posting here better yet.
Let me get this straight...you came on here because YOU felt there was a problem with your relationship..correct? You've been given very good advice from a number of different people, but because it's not the answers you want to hear...you decide to get a little pissed off ???
What do you want? The truth...or do you want these people to blow smoke up your azz? They're only trying to help and sometimes the truth hurts.
I don't know if you even read my post earlier about giving you some insight from her POV, however, I can pretty much guarantee that she's not going to change. I never did until H was finally deadset on D. I didn't realize, understand or even want to understand or try to understand how he truly felt or the seriousness of the sitch. I will say that I have no way of knowing how someone feels about S after being abused in some way, so I can't comment there.
I understand the answers you are getting may suck, but in the end you are going to have to be the one to make the final decision. Are you going to live in a sexless marriage or are you going to get out before you get married? That's the bottom line.
Like we all keep saying, you aren't even married yet, and she has shown no desire to "work with you" in this area. I can only imagine that it will just get worse once you are married and, if possible, even worse than that once you have children.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Few forums are as willing to call you on your own bs as this one. That isn't flaming. Flaming is simply starting crap for the sake of it. Corri and others here are trying to be honest with you. Perhaps it is a tough brand of love but believe me it is for good reason. No one is suggesting that leaving would be easy. No one is suggesting that Ms. Right is right around the corner either. Whatever is making you ok with this R will cause trouble in another. Whatever is making you continue to alternately placate and "do for" you fiance' and then ineffectually blow up so that she NEVER needs make a change in herself will also cause trouble down the road. Stop this insanity and figure out what is going on with YOU. Your fiance has real issues, of that I am certain. They are HERS to deal with NOT yours. When she wants to, she will and not until. If she cannot even muster up some sex to placate you then you are in a bad way here. Wouldn't someone who really "loves" you at least throw some sex your way after you express your unhappiness about it (especially since you are only engaged, not married)? Before you assume that we are just some grumpy, mean, sex starved people who are passing out sour grapes try to consider that we may know what we are talking about (plus only some of us are currently sex starved and only some are grumpy. No one is mean).
