What I see is that we post advice based on our situations and our feelings in those situations--me too--assuming anothers situations or responses would be similar.
I read a post only yesterday by an angry LBS and TO ME it seemed she was encouraging the LBS to whom she was posting to give up, she desrved better etc. She cited her situation as evidence that there was little or no hope.
That is what I felt MMF was addressing.
The site is called Divorce BUSTING. And not all divorces get busted. Some taht could do't because the LBS eventually does say No to a possible return. And that is fine.
We need to give support toward the best interest of the person whom we are supporting. And yeah, our agendas get in the way of that.
That is why I am wary about posting to those that have decided to absolutely not take their MLCer back, and in some ways even more wary if I cannot tell.
There are strict Standing sites. I'm a strict Stander, but I like it here better. Why? Well first, my Stand isn't dependent upon my religious beliefs--they support it, but are not required.
I didn't like how some beliefs say if you don't believe tsuch and such way (regarding Faith/relaigion) you are doomed. I don't believe in the devil either, people at some places talk about the devil as the enemy. I believe in the devil in a metaphorical sense...the demons within.
I also didn't fit in at those places because they were so inflexible, and they didn't like my differentness and alternative beliefs. The diversity at this site makes us stronger.
I didn't feel MMF was trying to say not to post if you've moved on or that moving on is a bad thing. I read that he has his beliefs and accepts the choices of others whether they match his or not. That is tolerance. The irony is that the outside world where we are told to kick'em to the curb, but also much diversity is often intolerant of what we are doing.
I've experienced very few people telling me to Stand down at this site. And when they did, they said it was not what they were doing...so the message was mixed--at least in the example I'm thinking about. But I've made my views very clear. So many others are Standing out of desperation and neediness--common in the beginning--that people get fed up with them. Possibly because they seem themselves--projection, and are afraid.
