I don't know if you even read my post earlier about giving you some insight from her POV, however, I can pretty much guarantee that she's not going to change. I never did until H was finally deadset on D. I didn't realize, understand or even want to understand or try to understand how he truly felt or the seriousness of the sitch. I will say that I have no way of knowing how someone feels about S after being abused in some way, so I can't comment there.

I understand the answers you are getting may suck, but in the end you are going to have to be the one to make the final decision. Are you going to live in a sexless marriage or are you going to get out before you get married? That's the bottom line.

Like we all keep saying, you aren't even married yet, and she has shown no desire to "work with you" in this area. I can only imagine that it will just get worse once you are married and, if possible, even worse than that once you have children.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10