Jak and Matilda, What's interesting is that even with the turbulence I feel like I'm getting stronger. I went dancing by myself on Wednesday night, while my W slept elsewhere. Again, she left a note, and also a phone message stating that she would be out for the evening. It's interesting in that she seems to expect our R to resume connection the next day, as if nothing happened.
The book, "Coping With Difficult People" by Robert Bramson talked about Complainers coming from a place of powerlessness, perfectionism, and blaming. I realize that I can't fix this for my W, and will have to practice assertiveness with her as needed. I need the practice, as it's not my strength.
We had our dance lesson last night, and it provided a chance for us to reconnect. We stopped for dinner afterwards. She's calling me her favorite dancer at this time. I think she'll get more out of it at the next level. Hopefully, the teacher will promote her at the end of the session.
I have large garbage bags throughout the house and am filling them up with old clothes and papers from the guest room and basement. I can use this as evidence that I'm working on the clutter problem in the house.
I agree with her that we should have an income that provides the quality-of-life we want, versus a mostly bill-paying, house-rich, cash poor one. We will make that income this year, thanks to the PT cooking job. We would only need to make 10K more per year, between the two of us (not counting the PT job). This is a solvable problem.
I will job-hunt to see what opportunities exist for me in my field. I've been at my current job for 11 years, so a change may be a positive thing.
CL
Last edited by Concerned_Listener; 11/16/0707:34 PM.
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
