Time for healing without closing the door

[saffie]

I don't think you should be blaming yourself all the time but I do think you need to formulate a strategy and try to stick to it.

I agree with inmyplace in as much as your H will probably find the lack of consistency hard to deal with. I can see however that this is a reaction to your H's own erratic behaviour.

I think you need to be the 'grown up' here and decide on what you think is ok and fair and then set the boundaries and stick with them. If only for your own sanity and your D's sake.

It's not uncommon for people who have had police contact to blame the other person who was involved with them in the disturbance for the police involvement. I had to go to court when my BIL assaulted me. I didn't want to particularly but the Crown Prosecution Service told me that I had to as I was called as a witness after having made a statement to the police. When the incident happened the police told me I HAD to make a statement as in addition to myself being attacked my husband's car had been damaged by my BIL and the insurance CO. wouldn't pay out unless I had made a statement. Found out that the 'having to make a statement for insurance purposes' was not correct but by then I had made the statement and if I withdrew it I would maybe be prosecuted for wasting police time. Felt like I couldn't win whatever I did. So don't beat yourself up about it. When incidents occur it all gets very confusing and emotional. Try to move on. Try to be clear with your H.

I am here listening. Though I have to log off now for a while for kids to do homework

Saffie