Life transitions occure every 7-10 years--and age 30 is a standard transition time. These are times of growth and change within, if a person denies the changes, it can become a crisis.
And yes, some have tnedencies toward crisis at these times. If the issues are not resolved during a transition, they may be buried again--and you will think they are no longer issues--and resurface at the next transition. Major life changes often trigger a transition: birth, death, illness, move, job change etc. The transition crises also get worse. This is why you do not want to stop the crisis and pull the person out the entrance of the crisis-tunnel. The issues are only resolved by going through. That means things get worse before they get better.
I love most of what your therapist is saying. I'm big on No Contact. But I disagree that you should see other people. That's because I'm a Stander and I am married; to date someone else is part of adultery.
Your husband seems desperate to be friends with you and you are handling that well...responding sometimes, but not always; and not at all recently. This is how I handled it too.
Sweetheart wanted to be firends, he wanted to date the OW, his choice would have been to live at home and date her, but I said NO. I also said that if he chose to be with her he was thus choosing to not be with me--as friends or other. But WHEN (not IF) he chose to be an appropriate husband, I would be there. I told him I would not be friends with him outside of a marital context.
This doesn't always work. You need to feel that the person wants you in his life so much that he will eventually not be able to stay away. I knew Sweetheart was like this and knew the OW would be temporary--though temporary can be a few years.
Keep doing what your thereapist says--except for the dating part. Tell him that part is morally wrong (if that is how you feel).
