Hi H - You are getting a lot of great advice here. I know easier said then done. I feel your pain brotha. I'm right there w u. The one part of me is saying u need to stand and fight for your marriage and the other part is saying it's over she's not worth it. But, the part that both of us are trying to ignore and these guys are refering to is the part where it is not up to us. Yes, we want to stand and fight for our marriage but our partners dont. Simple as that. It does take 2. Gd is right when he says save our feelings for when they are ready to come back. If that day ever comes that is. Being lost in the desert for 40 years rings a bell I think Puddles approach saying Have you tried, "You're right, it'll never work, I agree," yet, as an ode to Homer? Is a good place to start.
I spoke w my WAW last night. We are trying to figure out all our investment property crap ofcourse it turned into a R talk. I tried to listen and validate, but like u I still use any opportunity I have w her to make my case. I did validate but I would then go into a long speech about how I screwed up and how because of my insecurities and low self confidence that I did and said the things I did. I like u need to realize it doesnt matter right now. They are still on a different planet and we dont speak klingon. At least I dont. and I dont want to learn. As tough as it is I realize that she has made her decision for now. She is going have to learn the hard way. She does think the grass is greener. So does yours. It sucks to think of our love ones wanting to go out there and be with other people, but it will eventually come back to haunt them. Being a single parent is tough and they will both eventually find out.
I think Puddles approach saying Have you tried, "You're right, it'll never work, I agree," yet, as an ode to Homer? Is a good place to start. 