Plank removed from eye, too late for WAW? 8

[Heimlich]

Originally Posted By: Heimlich
All I've ever gotten from her were: I'm unhappy, I'm done, We can't work, I don't want to do this, My feelings can't change.


Have you tried, "You're right, it'll never work, I agree," yet, as an ode to Homer?

Hmmmm, the closest I've gotten is "We might not be a match for each other. I'm not 100% sure." Have not really had the opportunity to go Homeresque. Given the chance, I might. Not sure if it would work or not.

Each of us has patterns of communicating that we could improve upon. That's what bugs me the most, I've thought a lot about this (not recently, but over the summer) and I think a lot of our problems boil down to poor communication/not really listening to the other person. Something that's so fixable. I feel like the glutton's in Dante's inferno -- the baked ziti is just out of reach.

Originally Posted By: Heimlich
And because our previous R dynamic was of me pushing her to be open, it's hard to back off from that.


You're saying you've always pushed her to open up, and that's what you're continuing to do? Sounds like a 180 dying to happen to me.

Yes and no. Here's where I get conflicted. Yes, historically, I've been the one in our R to surface/expose our problems. She would finally talk to me and we would work it out. I stopped doing that a few years ago because as I've mentioned in my earlier threads, I lost myself for a while. So, she communicated in her way, I realize now, how unhappy she was. I did the same. We missed each other. So, given the circumstances now, what are the odds of her actually approaching me with her feelings? In my mind, not good.

I almost feel like I'm faced with a Gordian knot. Picking at it won't unravel it. Hacking it in half, a la Alexander, might/will amost certainly (especially now) kill any chance with her I might have. Ack.

So, LRT, LRT, LRT until I can think of something else. Going to dive back into the R books this weekend after taking a break to read some fiction, so maybe some new ideas/thoughts will surface -- I hope.

The better me is coming along. Need to get back in the gym and clear some deadlines for work. Had a bit of a pity party for myself -- a low-grade one, but still -- this week. Beginning to snap out of it.

Anyway, redesign meeting for the mag all day. That's at least pretty cool. Now, if I could just get another editor in here (our associate editor left last week), I'd be in decent shape.

As always, Puddle, danka.

BD