I am going to share my thoughts on the situation and then offer some possible ideas.
1. First of all, I love your online name. Purpose in your heart to live up to it: you are a fighter. A Kung-Fu fighter. A Shaolin monk. Brave, determined, wise and dangerous.
2. It sounds like you have suffered from low self-esteem and depression for some time now. It makes you less attractive to your wife. She doesn't want to have to be your mother and wife. She sees you as weak and sad.
3. The OM represents a strong, take-charge, alpha-male that she feels she can trust. She believes he is strong She's even willing to let him beat your children. This doesn't mean he is strong. He's been through 4 wives already. He's probably charismatic and pushes her attraction buttons, but fundamentally, he's immoral and a loser. He's not strong. He's scum-bag.
4. Financial security is important to your wife. He seems to offer it to her.
5. Your wife had no legal right to move out your children and belongings from the family home. She can't take your kids from you.
OK....I'm a little gun-shy at giving advice. But here goes:
1. Get a full-time, stable job. This is necessary so you can have a home and it will help your self-esteem. It will also show your wife you can be a man of action.
2. As you know, GAL. See what's free. Physical excercize helps with mood, self-esteem and depression. Easier said than done.
3. Connect with a good church. Find one that's theologically conservative. Explain your situation to the minister. Perhaps members of the church can help you out. You are isolated and fighting for your family -- you need help. You need a team and other people. You need God.
4. If you can get a book, read Authentic Happpiness by Siegelman. Do all the excercizes online. It'll help snap you out of depression.
5. Consult with a family/divorce lawyer. This is imperative. Tell him/her you want to save your marriage, but want to know what your rights are, especally with your children.
6. Time to find the warrior within you. Become the Shaolin monk, become the Samurai. One good online resource is the free newsletter at http://www.makingherhappy.com. Email me: theoden (dot) king (at) hotmail (dot) com. (The reason I'm not writing out the email address is that this site is searchable on Goggle.)
I'll send you a free e-book on this.
7. Save yourself, you might save your marriage.
8. Regarding your kids, they do not need to be raised by a 4 times divorced, scum bag who is f*cking your wife. Get into their lives. See them at least on weekends and one night a week. Their whole world was just shattered. Don't stand there and let it happen. They were kidnapped by your crazy wife and a rogue thief.
