All hope is lost/help

[Evie]

25yearsmlc, cat & grid,

thank you for your support and helping me to 'see the light'. I am feeling a lot better now that i have something to focus on.

We have talked about the business in the future, but we talked before the split. We decided that the business would become a Ltd company if needs be. That would mean that we would draw a salary each from it, it wouldn't be as flexible as now, but it is an option that we have agreed upon if needs must. We do need to keep the business going as it is a huge financial asset to us both and for all our hard work and unsociable hours it has paid for a very comfortable life, albeit maybe at the cost of our M!! I did suggest we sold it or got a manager in, but the type of work it is doesn't lend itself to a manager and the suggestion to sell fell on deaf ears, I was considering 'quality of life' but H likes a high standard of living to the point that he has high expectations from his family to be workaholics.

Playing mind games or teaching h a lesson do not come naturally to me, I know i overreact when i'm hurt. I am learning to try and be more objective and calmer in the situations that provoke a knee jerk reaction from me, I need to think about things before i react.

Update on last night - Was all glamoured up for my dinner date with my friend when H came to collect boys. He had booked a skiing holiday for himself and boys for 16/12 - tradionally our annual holiday, so i feel sad that I won't get to see S2 on his first skiing holiday and I felt H was little insensitive telling the boys all about it in front of me. However, I was running late and said I had to rush. H asked me if i was going to the gym (!!! perhaps he failed to notice my atire, make up and hair do) anyway, i said no, made a fuss of saying goodbye to teh boys and avoided telling him where I was going. Within in an hour i received the first text of H - which I ignored. I had a 2nd text and a phone call, also ignored because he KNEW i was out. I was in the car coming home when he called, and by this time i was getting worried something as wrong with the boys, but reassured myself he hadn't left a VM so things couldn't have been to bad. Read the texts when i got home at 10.45 pm, 1st one said 'would I like to talk later as we never get chance to speak?' and the 2nd text said 'can i call you', then the call. I texted him back and asked if boys were ok, was he ok and ok to call me if he wanted. He called straight away. He asked if I was ok and he wanted to clear the air about the afternoon's misunderstanding, was I ok about his holiday, i said i was sad that I would miss S2 skiing for the first time. I was calm and softly spoken. After the call he then text me to ask if i was ok to go xmas shopping next week. I said I was.

Had another call and email this morning. He called directly after i had read the email, I couldn't ignore the call because if he had a read receipt on email, he would know i was ignoring him. He had news which I guess was urgent, about one of our employees.

XD